Most parents in the world face many problems while raising their toddlers and seeing them grow is much happier for parents. But as a parent, this time duration of growth is really tuff for them as they have to come up with every possible solution to variant challenges they face while raising their child. One of the most difficult situations which come in front of parents is sibling rivalry in kids. It’s a parent you have more than one child then surely this issue going to be on your nerves all the time when you will be teaching your children about life and growth.
As a parent here are some of the problems and sibling rivalry solutions which I have experienced while raising my children.
Top reasons behind sibling rivalry
There are several reasons which create the state of rivalry between the two siblings and it gets difficult for parents to understand what can be the solution to it. As a parent here are some of the common reasons which I have experienced in the rivalry of my children.
- Praising one child more than other
- Mental stress in any one of them
- Competitive mode between the two
- Having the feeling of jealousy all the time
- Age difference
- Different views
- Stealing each other stuff
- No sharing habit
These are some of the common reason which plays a key role in rivalry of your siblings.
As a parent here are some of the best solutions you can take as an option to calm the conflict between the two and these options always come handy when it comes to answering of the question like how to manage sibling rivalry?
Well being a mother of two my personal experience says that every conflict has a solution it is just you need to understand the deep core of that rivalry to reach the best solution.
So here are some of the best ways to help you on how to deal with difficult siblings
Praising one child more than other
This problem is really deep and parents are the only way to solve this in their children. Sometimes it happens when a younger sibling gets the more attention than the elder one at that time elder one becomes more aggressive and feels unwanted. This feeling of being unwanted creates the negativity in the mind of the child and as a result, he/she start finding ways to fight and try to pull down the younger sibling in every possible way. As a parent, you just have to do one thing that you put both of them in the same boat. The love, care, and things should be given to both child’s equally so that this rivalry can be avoided.
Mental stress in any one of them
This usually comes out to be one of the most common signs of sibling rivalry. As a parent, I believe it is our prior duty that we understand each and every point of view of our children so that we can know what is going in their mind. It is usually common that one of your children can develop any stress in their mind which can indirectly create the situation of sibling rivalry. If one your child is having any sort of stress in their mind then surely their irritation and negativity will create a rivalry between the two siblings. So, being a mother I always prefer to reach the stress of a child so that I can change that scenario and I can avoid the conflict between the two.
Competition mode between the two
As a parent, I believe that one should know the competition between the two siblings. Well as a parent you have to keep an eye on this thing that your children should not have any sort of completion in between them. Let’s see this example which is very common in between two siblings.
Suppose if the elder sibling is good in something and younger sibling is the one who is not ready yet to reach that level then surely if elder one will put pressure on younger one by saying you are lesser then me then surely the conflict will take place. Sometimes we see the elder child show some stunts from their cycle and when younger sibling try to copy they fail at this moment as a parent you should teach your elder sibling to be a support rather than being a tease. This could easily stop the rivalry between the two and both will share a great bond of togetherness.
Having the feeling of jealousy all the time
Jealousy is so common in between human beings. Sometimes a jealous person creates more rivalries that are not even needed in the life. As a mother, I have experienced it in my life that when my elder child was alone he was the happiest one but when I gave birth to another child and that younger child seeks for more attention than my elder child was getting jealous in many ways. So being a parent it is your prior duty that you take care of your elder child and have the conversation with him/her all the time to make them understand that you are not partial in anything it’s just the matter of time. This could help you a lot to stop the rivalry between the two children’s.
The age difference between the two
This is the most common and one of the prime reason behind the sibling’s fights. The more the age difference the more the viewpoints will differ from each other. I have observed it as a mom that when you have more age difference between your two children then there are chances that this difference of age can cause various fights between the siblings. So I have already prepared my children for this by making them understand about respecting each other views. A family meeting is another beneficial way to restore the balance between children. In this way only the two can be respectful of each other and rivalries will be less in both.
Having different views about common things
Sometimes as a mother, you will notice that your two siblings are fighting over something which is very common but both of them have their own perspective to see it. Being a mother of two children I usually experience this thing that my children start fighting over something which is common between both but the rivalry starts when they do have their own visions to see. Making both children understand about common things and making them understand to respect each other viewpoints is the only to reduce sibling abuse between your children and the rivalry will not take place much often.
Stealing each other stuff
Stealing is one of the bad habits which no parents like to see in their child. I have noticed it many times the real rivalry starts between your children when one tries to steal things from other and that becomes a prominent reason for a fight. I as a mother always keep this in mind that I should not avoid this part if any of my children is stealing something from another child. To fix this issue the best way which you can opt for is that you should teach your children not to steal each other stuff and secondly make them understand that they can mark something on their stuff as identity so that there should be no problem and rivalry can be avoided.
No sharing between the two
Most of the rivalry started between the two children is because of no sharing. At this point, I am saying about everything like views, talks, toys and many more things. The two children share a special bond between them as siblings and as a mother I have completed this duty of mine to make them realize that sharing is always better options to grow together. In family meets, I and my husband always teach our children that if they will share their stuff with each other then surely they will enjoy some great moments of happiness. In this way, they usually share things and enjoy playing together and rivalries don’t take place between them.
Being a mother I know how difficult it is to raise a child and when you have two then responsibility gets double automatically. As a mother, I always think that there should not be any rivalry between siblings this can be the key to success to get a healthy family. But once you start growing them up you realize that it will be not easy to find kids fighting solutions and this will take a lot of ideas to develop an atmosphere which you wanted for your family.
Basically, these are the key points that can help you to raise your child better but being a mother I am saying this trust me this topic is much deep and needs a lot of variation when it comes to stopping sibling fights.
- Creating a healthy atmosphere
- Family meetings
- Understanding your both children
- Understanding their views and working on them differently
- Leaving the odds behind and setting equality for both
- Trying to reduce age gap through regular conversations
- Distributing stuff equally between them
- Making them understand to respect each other
Well, these are some of the key points that can help you in avoiding sibling fights but some of the best deep secrets lie between the approaches you take to stop sibling rivalry.
In this article, I have already said enough about the reasons behind sibling’s fights and rivalries but now I will tell you my best secrets to stop sibling rivalries that can help you grow a healthy and better family.
As a mother, you know this in you that raising children will be your prior duty as you know your husband will not be able to give much time for these things. It will be you only who have to manage all but for the time being when you come across this situation just remember that you have to understand these sibling relationship problems so that you can find the best solution for these rivalries.
Secrets To Avoid Sibling Rivalry
Here are some of the best secrets which I have discovered to avoid sibling rivalries. These always help my children to grow better and the number of fights gets reduce and love gets increased.
1) Being friends before birth
This secret is one of the best ways to avoid rivalry. Just imagine how will you feel if your first child does not accept your second child respectfully? Well, definitely it will break your heart. As a mother when I was pregnant the second time I prepared my first child for his sister/brother who was about to be a part of a family.
I generally allowed my first child to feel the baby bump, I let him talk to the baby from inside the womb, I allowed him to feel the kick but I made all these things possible in such a way that I recreated his birth cycle in front of him so that he can understand the importance of baby birth and growth in relevance to his own cycle. This way my child was prepared enough to accept his brother/sister and I made them very good friends before the birth. Remember this that this cycle of recreating birth moments is very sensitive so always keep positive things in upfront so that your elder child should only see the bright side of it.
2) Giving importance to the older sibling
Have you ever wonder at which point the jealousy starts between the two siblings? Well, the answer to this question is that it starts from the very first day. Suppose you are back at your place with your newborn child and your friends and family people has just started visiting you then surely you know that their attention will be counted the most valuable thing. If your friends are bringing gifts for your both child then it’s awesome but if not then make sure you have some small gifts in reserve for your elder child. The unwanted feeling starts from these small things and it can grow along with child which can later become a reason for sibling rivalry.
3) Distributing time equally
Distribution of time always equals to the level of sharing. When you give birth to your newborn at that time you understand that your 100 percent is needed in his/her maintenance. But it is not always that you can’t give your 100 percent while giving equal time to your elder child.
- You could wear an infant baby sling while you go out in a park this will help your hands to be free and you can play with your elder child.
- While making your elder child study or helping in homework just put your infant baby in your arms and let your child study as well.
- If you are breastfeeding the newborn and you have to make elder one sleep then surely read him/her a book and after some cuddles make him/her sleep.
- Make your infant sit on the floor and then play with your elder child in this way you can share equal time with both and this will reduce every chance of sibling rivalry.
4) Being positive is the key
Staying positive is the best marketing approach for you. You know that your elder child will make issues to understand the sharing part. Usually, children feel insecure about what they loosing rather than focusing on what they are getting. So, it can be difficult for your child to understand the part of sharing his/her room, toys, time and parents with the new one. For this problem you can have a positive approach by making your elder child understand the positives of sharing things like room, toys etc. small but fruitful family meetings will be needed on equal time durations to achieve this approach and once it is done the sibling rivalry will not start.
5) Harmony time
You have to create this harmony time for your elder toddler if you want his/her nature should not become aggressive. Spending some good morning time with your toddler and infant newborn equally progress the harmony in nature for the whole day. Your toddler feels supportive and it feels great for him/her that they have been given equal importance like the attention is given to the newborn baby.
I have shared some of the secrets of sibling rivalries and some important tips to avoid these sibling rivalries. Though the time will be very difficult for you to maintain these approaches yes as a mother I can say all these approaches when achieved pay you the best in future.
Being a mother I can conclude this point here that these approaches are the base of your healthy family and if you wish to have stable relations in your family then surely put these approaches into use to achieve kids fighting solutions.