Respectful parenting came into the limelight when parenting experts consider it one of the safest methods of preserving a child’s self-respect.
Key Facts
- Respectful parenting calls for the approach involving mutual respect and care from parents for their children.
- Parents need to adopt a respectful approach because children notice every single thing and become hypersensitive.
- Respectfulness toward children results in character building, increased self-confidence, and activeness in daily life.
Parents have a divine duty. It is not easy to be parents to human beings who are going to lead the world tomorrow. As parents, you have to be careful about a number of things because every single action of yours is observed and analyzed by your children. This is why many parents look for measures through which they can serve as role models for their children.
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Being a role model is not easy. There are a number of things about which you need to be careful. Many parents tend to be “perfect examples” for their children and in this quest, they ignore the fact that their treatment with children counts a lot in addition to their efforts in making themselves perfect.
What is Respectful Parenting?
In the world of efficient and helpful parenting, this is relatively a new approach. This is why many parents are still not fully aware of the term itself. Well, respectful parenting is about individual effort and mutual respect. One can define respectful parenting as a parenting model, “where the approach is to treat your children in a respectful manner and their choices and desires are equally respected just as any other adult.”
Why did the need for respectful parenting exist in the first place?
A number of you might be wondering about the origin of the very concept itself. Why did the concept even exists as a parenting style is the biggest critical question posed by many. Well, the convention has always proved that parents give the least importance to their child’s self-respect during arguments and major life decisions. This in turn becomes disastrous for the children as they gradually start losing their self-confidence because of being led down by their parents.
A number of children share severe traumatic responses as a result of this which persists even in adulthood. So, the need for a more gentle approach becomes important and that’s where the savior, our mighty “respectful parenting” comes forward and aims to take things into its hands.
Basic Principles of Respectful Parenting
Respectful parenting stands at some fixed grounds where some basic precepts build up the whole concept altogether. These concepts are focused on prevailing a sense of mutual harmony among individuals. Let us give you an insight into these basic principles.
- Mutual Respect
- Independence
- Encouragement
- Appreciation
- Mutual Bonding
- Care
- Truthfulness
- Friendliness
- Abolishing Judgments
- Personal Space
Mutual Respect
Just as the name suggests, respectful parenting is based on a sense of mutual respect. Many parents believe that children are their responsibility and they are needed to fulfill this responsibility in the best way they can. For most parents, the best way suggests teaching children basic ethics and giving them the finest education. Unfortunately, most of the parents are ignorant enough that in the fulfillment of their duties, they forget that even children expect a lot from their parents.
Many parents have a different approach where the punishment and reward system works without any fixed boundaries and parents abuse children on a regular basis upon their failures. Respectful parenting calls for respecting self respect of your children and understanding the significance of maintaining that.
As good parents, it is required from your side to respect your child’s decisions and respect his/her feelings just the way you respect an adult. One reason for that is the hypersensitivity of children. Children are very sensitive when it comes to feeling things. This is why they are easily affected by abuse or disrespect shown toward them. Though it lasts temporarily from the parents’ end, still its effects can be lethal and remain forever in children’s minds.
Independence
Every parent wants to choose the best for their children. In doing so some may make decisions that don’t suit their children and this creates a rift between both. The emotional rift existing between both is sole because of the lack of independence children feel. It is very important to give your children freedom to choose their careers and make little decisions about life by themselves.
As parents, you can supervise them and guide them about the significance of the decisions they make, however, forcing your children to do something you wish or live exactly like your demands is not right. It not only gives way to emotional frustration but children also start losing their individuality as a result of the enforcement which is continuous.
Encouragement
Children are like plants. If you water a plant daily and take care of its life, it blooms brightly and lasts longer than ever. In the same manner, if you encourage your children in the trials of their life, they become active participants of the test and show personal interest in taking risks from a young age. This is because your support works as an elixir for their skills.
They start gaining confidence at every stage and in every exam if they are continuously encouraged by you. Encouragement involves enabling your children to move forward and take the risks. It also enables them to fight the biggest fears of their life. When this happens, children no longer become afraid of any trial but become brave enough to face their fears all on their own.
Appreciation
I have a friend whose child is four years old. I have noticed a very beautiful habit between both mom and daughter. The daughter has recently taken to the habit of holding a pen and writing. So, whenever she scribbles jumbled and illegible writing, my friend is always the one to clap and appreciate her writing skills and I have noticed that the young girl becomes more active in her participation.
The purpose of narrating this whole story is to highlight the significance of appreciation. Children are hungry for praise. When they are being praised by their parents, they become very active in doing things. Parents who have the habit of appreciating their children even at the mere tries are the ones who are unintentionally making their children ready to face the world by giving them enough confidence.
Mutual Bonding
Routines have changed lifestyles for both parents and children. Parents are limited to their office cabins and official work while children are stuck to the screens. This has taken the essence of the conventional norm of sitting together and sharing stuff about life. Many parenting experts consider mutual bonding essential because it is this bonding that helps to bring parents and children closer to each other.
When children find their parents making time for them, the happiness automatically makes them open up before their parents. This is why a healthy relationship is always prescribed between parents and children because it is necessary not only for physical well-being but also takes away all the emotional stress from the minds of both parents and children.
Care
Care and affection are the natural qualities exiting in every creature. It is an innate quality existing in every single individual. Just like every other quality, care is something expected from parents to shower upon their children. However, conditional care is something that destroys the personality of a child. Many parents have the habit of depicting conditional care.
Now, you might become shocked at this revelation and will try to disagree, considering your parents unconditionally. However, here we are talking about the care which is depicted in front of the children. Young children are very immature. They are fast to reach the consequences. So, in case of a mistake or any failure, if they are rebuked and told that their parents don’t “love” a child like them, it impacts their mind seriously.
For parents, it might be the depiction of impulsive emotional outbursts as they forget this sooner than later but it should be kept in mind that children even remember bits and pieces of the most minute things which are said to them. So, it’s important to be careful when you are showing your “care” in front of your children.
Truthfulness
When you are upbringing your children, you definitely want them to be fine citizens. You want them to progress as civilized citizens but as I have discussed earlier, your children will consider you as the role models. This is why it is extremely important to depict all such qualities which you want in your children. One of the most important qualities which parents need to teach their children is the significance of truth. Truth is a quality that is highly needed in individuals.
Most of us care for worldly things and never pay attention to the little lies we make every day just to escape from unwanted stuff. Before we realize this thing gets into the children as well and they start telling lies in their life and eventually become liars who can even lie about the big things confidently. Therefore, it is important to become truthful and honest from the grassroots level.
Friendliness
Friendships are beautiful and they become most beautiful when they exist among parents and children. Research has shown that parents who are friendly to their children are more close to them and they bear positive results on the mental health of their children. This is because children take them as their friends.
When a unique friendship exists between parents and children, children start sharing their lives and even find refuge in their parents for their deepest secrets. This is why a healthy friendship between parents and children can help in solving many issues between both in the later stages because children become confident enough about sharing things with parents and parents also become relaxed upon finding updates from children on their lives.
Abolishing Judgments
Many parents have a weird habit of judging their children on the basis of their imperfections. This type of attitude is disastrous for the mental growth of a child because it leaves traumatic impacts in his/her mind in the latter part of life. Parents should be highly careful about judging and making weird comparisons of their children with siblings, peers, or other children.
This is because each and every child is unique in his/her own way and a judgment lowers the self-esteem of children enabling them to think low of them. Several cases have been reported in the past all over the U.S where children attempted or at least tried to attempt suicide due to the growing sense of self-hatred in their nature.
Personal Space
Many parents are very strict when it comes to giving their children personal space. They are never the ones who are ready to leave their children on their own but do you know this has devastating impacts? Personal space is equally important for children just the way it is important for grown-ups.
Everyone needs to be alone in their own world for some time where no interaction from the outside world is welcomed. Parents who understand the importance of personal space for their children are the ones who are making their children ready to face the world by working on their shortcomings by taking time.
Conclusion
Respectful parenting is indeed one of the most ideal types of parenting. However, the method itself cannot work until efforts from parents are not ensured. As parents, you need to understand that just like every other individual, children also need to be encouraged and respected when it comes to the choices they make in life.
Children should be equally valued just like adults because they are the ones who are going to take the lead of the world in the future. So, all parents definitely want to see their children emotionally healthy and socially active and for that giving them the much-needed respect is always a great option.
