Parenthood

Authoritarian Parenting- Best or Worst Way to Love

Authoritarian Parenting- Best or Worst Way to Love

Becoming a parent has never been an easy task. Parents tend to work really hard towards their children in order to make their life better every time. Children are not born with any ability or capability to read or write or to learn anything. Thus, it is the duty and a responsibility of parents to look after their children and teach them all the aspects of life from educating them to enhancing their lifestyles and developing their personality. Just as children are different from each other, parents have also varied accordingly. There are types of parenting exist which helps individuals to focus on their children according to the ways of that particular style. There is no doubt that parents love their children more than anything else in the world. For them, their children are little flowers that need to be cared off. Because of different characteristics, children vary in a matter of growth and development.

It is very important for parents to focus on their children to make them a better person. In order to make your child a better individual, parents need to change their ways of nurturing and need to show less love at times. Love can be both good and worst when expressed in extreme limits. The parent should learn when to hug them and when to slap them. Scolding is one of the ways to teach your child things when love cannot. Parents who become extremely strict towards their children and increase their expectations and decrease their response, such type of parenting is known as authoritarian parenting. Parents who follow the authoritarian style of parenting focus more on things like obedience, punctuality and they enhance all these qualities in children through threat and punishment. It is always said that a child needs to fall before rising. If parents want to see their children on top, they should never save them from falling. Hard times will eventually teach them to rise above and o good in life.  Authoritarian parents do not hesitate to beat their children in order to make them learn about life.

 

CHARACTERISTICS OF AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING STYLE ARE:

  • Authoritarian parents have control over their children: They are so strict that they do not allow their children to even step out of the house without their permission. Their control is so strong that if a child attempts any kind of mischievous activity, they become so scared that sometimes they even fall sick because of such fear of their parents.
  • No response yet extremely demanding: Authoritarian parents are extremely demanding in nature. Though they do not show any response, yet they always expect their children to follow them and their rules to the core. This expectation of parents is not really been written anywhere yet they think that their children will automatically understand their expectation from them and will follow all the rules. Mostly, such nature of parents starts to get into existence when their children to the age of toddlers or even before it.
  • Low power of expressing: Usually, people who are under this type of style do not show much love and care. They rather stay stern and strict. They are harsh and stay stick to their pattern of rules. They do not praise or encourage their children much rather they yell at them for not standing by their rules. Just as harsh as they show of themselves, their punishments are also extremely harsh.
  • Children of authoritarian parents do not have choices or options: They are given the set of rules and ways for the life. They are not allowed to make any choice of their own rather just have to follow the rules and set pattern. For example, some families have a clear mindset that their children will pursue either medical or engineering or else, if there is a girl child then she will become a doctor and a boy can only opt for engineering. Such parents do not appreciate any choice of a child’s own. Rather they clear-cut a situation that if they will not o as they say, then they will not support them in any way. One reason behind not providing any chance to their children to make choices of their own is that parents do not trust the choices made by them. They think that their children can easily ruin their lives if it would be given in their hands. That is why still, opting for art stream after 10th standard is never appreciated by parents no matter how much interest a child may have for that particular subject.
  • Critical behavior of authoritarian parents: By being critical we mean that parents who belong to such type of category are so focused to make their children just like they want them to be that at the time they may act critically which can result in embarrassment for children and for them as well. For example, to make a child behave properly in front of others, they sometimes yell at them or cream and scold them in front of people. For them, behaving perfectly is everything and they can never compromise in them and if a child is not up to the level of a perfect behavior, they will not resist and punish them harshly that too in front of every present individual.
  • No negotiation for authoritarian parents: They will not negotiate. Situations are usually clear cut for them. For them, it is like either this or that. They do not believe in compromising something from the other. For example, if they want their child to come back home in an hour then it means 60minutes for them and not even an hour and one minute above. They are so harsh that sometimes their children prefer a hostel life rather than to live within the family. Their parents start to dominate them at times which make their children forget their own dreams and choices and start to walk on a path of their parents.

There is an absolute truth in a saying that there is no right way to raise a child. Parenting is always a tricky task which requires extreme knowledge and enhanced decision making power. A child always depends on his parents for the right paths in life and if parents do not reach to the level of stability and absolute maintenance, it becomes really tough for parents to raise their children. Everything that exists in the world has right and wrong effects that need to be managed and handled according to the circumstances. Same way, authoritarian parenting also has effects which can cause damage to the environment. If we talk about the weather this type of parenting is good or bad for children then there is no single answer. It is because just like every parent is different, the same way every child is different. Some children need to be treated in such a manner because of their extreme way of carelessness towards life or when they become so mischievous that they speak or do things without thinking about them even for once.  They start to take control of their life in such a way that they refuse to make their parents a part of their decision. For some children, parents are forced to accept the authoritarian style of parenting in order to make them aware of life and situations they force themselves to be extremely strict that their children would start to fear with the voice of their barefoot. But for those children who do not deserve such kind of nurture and who are really innocent, for them, this parenting styles is not an appropriate option.

 Read more about parenting tips: How to Parenting- Effective Tips For The Best Parenting

EFFECTS OF AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING

  • LOWER SELF – ESTEEM.

Children tend to develop low self-esteem when they kept in such a harsh environment. Not all children are capable of handling the extreme strictness of parents. They fail to focus on things in life because of the ongoing fear of parents in mind. Sometimes even when they do something right, they continuously have the fear of getting punished and they fail to trust that they can do thing correctly on their own.

  • DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY.

Because of the ruthless nature of parents, children start to develop a feeling of loneliness. They start to cry at nights without letting their parents know of their tears. This, however, develops a feeling of depression and anxiety in children. Either they become extremely quiet or else they become so anxious and angry that they fight with almost everyone around them.

  • CAN NEVER MAKE DECISIONS ON THEIR OWN.

Children under authoritarian parents are always depended on their parents for the decision of life and in life. They develop no power of decision making on their own. This happens because they are always provided with decisions and no choice so they do not even think to use their mind in making the decision for themselves. Apart from their life, they fail to make a particular choice in little things like what to eat or what to wear. They always depend on their parents to make a decision for hem no matter either it is for choosing what to eat or else for deciding the career goals for the future.

  • HOSTILE NATURE OF CHILDREN.

Lack of love and care from parents will eventually make children more aggressive and hostile in nature. It means that they would have no control over their anger. Such a situation will occur when a child will reach the age of adolescence.

  • FEAR OF FAILURE.

Children who are kept in an environment where parents are so dominating that they do not accept any chance of failure. Because of the hardcore pressure from the parents, children become extremely sensitive and threaten. They cannot accept the fact that they will not achieve success in one go. Either it is to pass a minor class test or the final exams, children become highly threatened or sometimes such fear of failure leads them to anxiety and depression.

The Opposite of Authoritarian Parenting is the Authoritative Parenting Style.

Authoritative style is in which parents are not that strict and they maintain a healthy environment for children. They do not pressurize them rather they believe and discussions and feedbacks from children.  They believe in managing their children with love care and warmth.

AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING
Ø  Low on the response, High on demands.

Ø  They do not believe in discussing anything with children. They just enforce their decision on them and expect from them to follow it. Eg. SET OF RULES MADE BY PARENTS FOR CHILDREN.

Ø  Punishment is the only solution when there is a resistance in their decision.

Ø  They do not make their children think independently.

Ø  Punishments are harsh and rigid.

Ø  Children are unhappy and non-responsive.

Ø  High on demands, high on the response.

Ø  They believe in discussing things with children. They do enforce certain rules on them but in return, they also discuss the rationale behind.

Ø  No punishment given rather such parents discuss the problem and help them to sort it out.

Ø  They enforce their children to become independent decision makers.

Ø  Shower love and warmth.

Ø  Children are happy, active and responsive.

 

Thus, it proves that children are sensitive and they need to be kept in a smooth and happy environment. Scolding and punishing children for mistakes is a story of every parent but the punishments that are given should not be highly insensitive that a child regrets coming into the world. Such type of rigid behavior and punishments of parents leave children in an ultimate condition of either leaving home or killing themselves. They do not wish to stay with their parents which is an extremely negative thought a child can have. Sometimes things become so negative that the method that parents accept and the ways in which they deal with their children, leave huge impact children and parents as well. After being so static and dandiness, they become addicted. They carry their nature in the outer world where they treat people in a similar way in which they treat their children. They expect that the people outside their home will act in a similar way their children do. For example, while sitting in a family get together or in a hotel, authoritarian parents will not appreciate the casual environment or meetings. They would prefer staying in one place with a drink and they will not allow their child to step out of their company at all. They will not talk anything about the occasion rather they will talk about their career and workplace. Also, they are so particular that they would want their child to behave in an expected manner and if a child would fail to do so, they will not be embarrassed by anything and will start punishing their children right there.  Such parents do not take parenting with love and care. They just keep the authority over their children with no response.

Authoritarian parenting style can be useful in some cases but as a whole, this style is harmful to children and it might leave a negative impact on children which can harm their development process. Authority should be kept over children in a right way and according to the capacity of a child to handle your rigidity. There should be a controlled and managed manner to become strict with children. Not every child has that amount of strength to live in an environment will little or no love and care rather the parents behave in a rude way and always pressurize them something or the other. For example, there is an example given about abut parents being rigid to the decision of opting for the particular subject to shape the future of a child. Engineering and medical is not appropriate for every child simply because of the interest and intellectual ability of a child. Sometimes, they start to develop their interest in other fields like singing or dancing which is extremely different from the fields that their parents have decided for them. In such a situation, children eventually get into engineering out of pressure and no interest. This would not only create an impact on a child but also on the career. One should be allowed to do anything he wants to do in life no matter. After all, if something is done out of an interest and choice, it will automatically turn out to be the great decision with an enhanced future.  It is always said that a child needs to fall before rising. If parents want to see their children on top, they should never save them from falling. Hard times will eventually teach them to rise above and o good in life.  Authoritarian parents do not hesitate to beat their children in order to make them learn about life. There is no doubt that parents love their children more than anything else in the world. For them, their children are little flowers that need to be cared off.

About the author

Lauren Brown

I am Lauren Brown, mom of 2 beautiful and smart kids. Parenting is called to be simple for mom or dad, but it is not as simple it looks. With my own experience and being a parenting counsellor, I help you to be the best Mom & Dad in your kid's world.

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